Jedi Fluff

DEMA

2006-10-18T10:07:00.000-07:00

so dema is coming up. IN ORLANDO. i wish i could go. lately ive been planning to steal luke's identity (hes the head of divezero) and go in his place. No one in Orlando knows luke. I could so pull it off. Divezero doesnt have a budget yet, so we cant use that money to fly the star of Divezero down, thats me!

I have not heard too much thats happening at the latest DEMA, i have to be honest i havent looked into it much. I heard Mares is coming out with a couple new BCs, and im sure there wil be all kinds of techno gimcracky there. When i went last year in Vegas, the majority of the convention center was full of resorts and dive destinations promoting there business. They hand out truck loads of flyers. You can hear the trees screaming.

.Surrey will fall.

2006-10-04T17:33:00.000-07:00

So since the manager and owner have left town for an amazing live-a-oard trip, the surrey location of GPD has taken it upon themselves to suck at life. What i mean by 'suck at life' is:

Part 1

A customer walked in the other day, wanted to buy a pair of Jet Fins, we didnt have any in stock we decided to order them. BUT FIRST!, we checked with the surrey location to verify that they had none in stock to loan us. The claimed they didnt. So we went and called the distributer to send us an order of variosu sizes of the fins and some other Scuba Pro gimcracks. They said the could have it there by thursday...we wanted it by wednesday....but thursday worked. Now, the North Van store doesnt have a dealer account with Scuba Pro, only the Surrey location does. So they got a call from Scuba Pro just to verify that the order was good.....THEY SAID NO. They called our shop to tell us that we had to order through them, so
we told them what we needed and the proceeded to 'order' it. We called back later to confirm arrival.....THE FOLLOWING FRIDAY!!! after we had asked Scuba Pro when the earliest we could get the order was!!! So now our customer is leaving on a trip without the fins they wanted from us, and probably some other little shop got some of our business....!

Part 2

Another customer called in today asking about PST tanks. We didnt have any. Now i know we order from them regularly, so i called up surrey to ask if they had any PST 100 cf left in stock (which is the tank the customer asked for). Of course the didnt, so i asked when the next order was coming in, never. They said PST doesnt make tanks anymore, and that they dont exist. Now everyone knows PST almost went bankrupt, but they were bought out in April '06 i believe. So i checked there website, and 'voila!' they said on there site, in the 'latest news' section that PST is still making tanks! I called PST to confirm, but of course there offices were closed since it was 3:30 here and there office is in Milwaukee....

so i sent them an artistic rendering of a scuba divers last dive on the fax machine!

MAUUAAHAHHAHAHHAHAA

.Sechelt.

2006-09-29T11:45:00.000-07:00

So yesterday, fellow PDT-er rolled down from the flat lands of alberta to dive here on my lovely BC coast. (YES, its my coast!). I hooked him up with a spear gun and some sweet rental deals for the week for his friends. In return of this favour, i got join them for a dive at Tuwanek Point up on the sunshine coast near Sechelt. (the home base of PDT's competition, Sunshine Divers and the Capilano College Program).

The dive was amazzzzzzzzzzzzzzing! The vis must have been 40+ feet. The rocky bottom seemed to slope and and drop off and pinnicle every which way and that. Making the dive quite a tour and a navigational scare, but all we had to do was keep close to an small island. Since i havent speared since our last dive trip together, pretty much one year ago on Gabriola Island, I was super stoked. We dropped down in 40 ft of water and proceeded to hunt down the enemy (the enemy being anything we were allowed to kill with a fishing liscence of course ; ). We saw some huge ling cod, seemingly tempting us knowing that it was protected. Came across one Greenling which we shot at and got a direct hit before it ripped off and swam to its death in between some rocks. Then later out of frustration Kyle stabbed what he though was a ling cod that turned out to be a Cabezon!!! I was sitting there yelling into my reg "shoot it shoot it!!" When it rolled over and died....! HAHA. We dragged it up to the surface and grilled it for dinner with some spices and mac and cheese. GOOD DAY!

DIVEZERO

2006-09-29T11:43:00.000-07:00

CHECK IT OUT!
IM GOING TO BE FAMOUS!
FAMOUS MUAHAHHAHA!

.a new place.

2006-09-27T11:13:00.000-07:00

Moving again....eff eff eff.

so since the steve-0 has moved to vancouver to take up an instructor position at IDC. We decided for a cost effective method of moving into a 2 bedroom together. so we managed a bach suite...haha smallll, Brand new place in east vannnnn. so now my drive time commute will hopefully be less then 20 minutes...that would be so nice.

Apparently when ever im driving i take a picture of myself going 140 and the always turn out like this!

.good bye.

2006-09-27T11:00:00.000-07:00

So ive said goodbye to a co worker, and a dive buddy for life. Derek has moved on to Costa Rica with his girl forever...well a few years or so. GPD is going to be horribly boring without him, cause now no one understands it when i mention that some ones a lingcod (aka. really freaking dum). Hes going to attempt at documenting there trip/move on a blog of his own.www.derekmichelle.blogspot.com.

Now i can get some effin work done!

under the sea

2006-09-08T15:19:00.000-07:00

They call them rogues, they travel fast and alone.
On hundred foot faces of God's good ocean gone wrong.

i submitted this beaut to divezero for there photo contest. Im sure ill win the big prize. I think its an episode of Divezero issue#1. LOL.

Ive been credit card happy lately, the bank gave the approval and ive been going going gone to the limit with it. i should rap. i think ive got some good hooks. theres not enough scuba in music today. im going to write a song using the guitar and some spoons. it will be epic.

summers gone...tear

2006-09-08T00:27:00.000-07:00

Ok. so. i havent been posting, yet again.

Im going to make an effort to update this beast, and make daily submission to entertain whoever the odd person is who reads my blurbs.

scuba d'in is friggen sweet lately. I gots da new camera, i gots da new dive buddys, soon i will be starting new trainig for IDC staff instructor. Thats one more step towards mo fuggin course director....bitches.

the ol' steve O got a jobsy finally. Hes going to slave at IDC in van. Will share secrets for cash, and battle for customers. it will be a hoot im sure.

my plans for world domination of th dive industry are slowly unfolding. i think if i work my ass off next week during the IDC i could make this staff instructor sheez. Dat would be pimpin, then i would have to get paid the big bucks, cause hey, im good.

my rescue course tonight went freaking perfect. thy three students i have couldnt have paid better attention, got all there reading done, all the Knowledge reviews done, and did all the scenario/skillz perfect. will practice some more before the Big 2 and everything will go fine.

did i mention im awesome....?

; )

more photos and junk

2006-08-29T15:58:00.000-07:00

NEW CAMERA

2006-08-29T15:40:00.000-07:00

ok wow, eff. I havent been posting in a while, and im trying to get back on this pny and ride it into the mofuggin sunset. dont ask wtf that meant.

I finally laid the bucks down for a fatty u/w camera. Got the SP-350 from Olympus with a 1G mem card and the Olympus PT-310 Housing. Works effing good, even without a strobe. Last night i took it out for the first time. Works pretty good. I need to get better fast, but im happy with its/my performance.

heres some mofuggin pics bitches.

I found this pimpin' decorated warbonnet hiding in some white anenomes. There considered fairly rare, and to see one this size was freaking cool. This was my second time seeing one in over 60 dives.

/holy freaking crap.

2006-08-24T13:26:00.000-07:00

Beloved musical icon Matthew Good has been planning on a global pilgrimmage of self discovery and reflection for a little while now. Now, days before departure, he has announced a personal unplugged sendoff performance in his own 'ex-home'. For 30 absurdly lucky fans. Tomorrow. Am I going to go? I shall not be want for trying, most assuredly.

waiting, wishing

2006-08-02T18:14:00.000-07:00

Matt's busy and I am quite the opposite so now I'm posting. /fucked.
There is still nothing to report diving related, however, between applications I came across a bit of original prose. Here's to injecting a little art into the blog:

Just now let me perish
For I least expect it
A fitting end to a new beginning
Not yet sprung
High above the corporeal fog

Through the twisted knot
Of paths and possibility
Uncertainty draws a clear line
Upon which I now stand
Balancing, just

At the end of this
Tunnel of flesh and dreams
A light flickers
Illuminating at once a man
And yesterdays good deed

To loiter in my shadows
Or shine on these good intentions
A choice one cannot make
Just yet
Just yet.

Null Space

2006-07-22T14:30:00.000-07:00

Its been almost two months or so since I've posted anything. Just pointing this out for anyone who didn't notice.
The Discontent Diver has had precious sweet fuck-all to report, essenially. As for the legendary stories, well, I honestly dont feel like typing the few diving related ones out.
The last couple months have been a downward spiral of discovery, discovering that there aren't really many opportunities for a hardly experienced dive instructor.
Or for me. One of the two. Since May long-weekend I've done nothing outside of fire off applications to global destinations and get hired and quit within 3 days at pizzaway. Tropical dive destinations are like the local women here, pretty to look at but empty headed bitches when you try to communicate. Any readers out there looking to pass through the okanagan and learn to dive, for fuck sakes give me a call, all my non-diver 'friends' are fucking lame and dont want to pay for Verns next diesel-duallie-crewcab-commuter.

Update on the local diving in the valley: Last week went for a 'pleasure dive' in Wood Lake. I'd never done so before, breaking new ground and all that, and so committed the better part of a day to the excursion. Results; Do not dive in wood lake. Unless you like diving in 50/50 water/silt. There is nothing to see under/behind the lovely visual curtain in any case, so all in all an utter waste of time. Lesson learned kiddies.

On a completely different note, if you've stumbled upon this site by accident you're obviously bored. You'll get a kick out of this: http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/322150

dive life...an update.

2006-07-22T12:40:00.000-07:00

wow its been a while since ive been able to post. My weeks effin busy and before this week everything was a blur. The blogs a hard one to update when you are computerless. plus effin steve doesnt blog, i know he has stories, hes just not sharing with the world. I might have to find another contributer so we can get some more perspective.

right now im currently fighting a losing badly against finding housing. i have 2 days left to find a place...and then.....something happens, im not to sure what that will be, but its going to be serious! im gonna check a couple rooms out tonight. wish me luck!

diving has been sweet lately, the vis is amazing! i have all kinds of classes everyweek, with dsd's refreshers, OW, AOW, and some drysuits next weekend. im burning out faster than gun powder and i need to get some instructor help for some classes so hopefully friends from k-town will be down.

right now im just listening to music loud to drown out the world, and hopefully everything will be alright tomorrow...lol.

Jessica alba...a divers dream

2006-07-08T11:01:00.000-07:00

So the shop is all slow yesterday morning, when the phone rings. I pick up thinking that another wacko person wants to talk about Hholey Soles and if we have them in stock, and if they have the straps, oh yeah and do you have kids sizes???.

But to my suprise, it turns out that its someone looking for a wetsuit, a thin 2mm shorty to be exact, possibly with a capri style leg. Oh yeah and no logos! Immediatly i get to thinkin, WTF..no logos that doesnt exist.

After questioning her crazyness, she we took down the measurments and called our wetsuit hook up for a custom suit to be made by monday. She was cutting it quite close.

GPD tends to Jessica Alba, that means were the best, better recognize!

NASA....wtf?

2006-07-05T10:29:00.000-07:00

so last night before falling into sweet dreams, i found the tv program about pavilion lake. The same lake i just dove in with the Divezero crew. I didnt realize there were several types of coral there. I only saw the shallow soft stuff. Suposedly deeper at 70 feet there is a different type, or at least it takes a different form. And then again at 90ish feet there is another cahnge in the coral. We totally missed the boat on this and now im kinda choked.

Nasa has it in there minds that this will help them with discovering IF life exists on Mars or IF it ever existed. IM no scientist so i dont know what the shizzle is, but its pretty effin cool.

Heres another site i found the story on...pavilion lake research.

ahh the enemies.

2006-07-02T15:36:00.000-07:00

So a little place called the Edge Diving Center opened up down the street from us this year. They started before i moved here. But i believe the story begins with a couple of ex GPD staff.

A few decided that they could do it on there own and make more money just down the street. So far they havent been doing to well. Since they are so close to us, No manufacturer will sign on with them, cause they dont want stores competing for there brand. Since we have 5 of the Major Manufacturers, there kinda screwed.

You can check there website out, which is really nice to be honest. At the www.edgediving.com. They have the whore brands of the Scuba industry.

What i do have to say about them is that there business is incredible looking. They have a very proffesional set up, and they have hard working employess.

Whats bad about them is they are stealing a fairly big chunk of our potential students, and weve lost most of our hardcores because they promote there free dives more and are more willing to go diving with the diving idiots of vancouver.

So basically if we get our heads together, get a new website, and update they stores look to a more professional feel, we could eliminate them easily.

The war is on.

I heart skimmin

2006-07-02T15:27:00.000-07:00

Wow. Spanish banks in vancouver is soo effin good for skimmin. At low tide there is so many good pools for it. I was rippin it the other day and just about had a heart attack i was having so much fun.

My goal for the summer is to land a kick flip. Im not to sure how i will do it, but im just going to give'r until i do. I was working on my ollies on saturday and was landin some pretty big ones.

The bag of tricks is getting pretty big now. Ive pulled the head stand a few times, can spin like a crazy mofo. 360 pop shov it still elludes me, but ill get it tomorrow i think.

One thing i love about the skimmin is it is such a good work out. I was running full speed bursts every minute yesterday for like 2 hours. That gets the cardio a going.

Check out www.skimonline.com or www.skimbc.com

Pavillion....a lake of dreams.

2006-06-29T12:59:00.000-07:00

So i hit Pavillion lake last sunday with the Divezero Crew. I guess im part of the divezero crew now. Anyways we roll out of kelowna at about 7:30 meet up with another filmer in Armstrong and start gunning through some back roads to Kamloops, before we get to cache creek and turn on to a rickety ol road that heads towards Lilloet. About half way there is a small Mill and a lake Called Pavillion.

My first look at the lake was pure amazement. White sand, tonnes of fish, and supposedly fresh water coral. The visibilty was incredible. It puts the Okanagan to shame.....well diving in the Okanagan is already shame. HAHA. But it was at least 50+ feet.

We stopped at the first place we could enter. It probably wasnt the best way to enter with 50Lbs of dive gear but it worked for us diehards. We strapped on tanks and walked down this slipperay shale path into the bright blue water of pavilion. Did i mention the temp was a smacking 40 degrees of the C. And we all had drysuits with warm undersuits on, so the hike down was a bit sweaty. i had several cases of SWASS.

By the end of it all you couldnt wait to get in the water and hope your suit leaked so you could feel the sweet relief of cold water.

We managed to pull of three dives around this island, i should say the only island. on the lake. It had a nice little cabin on it. Looked like the perfect little summer home. The coral was super cool, very brittle and just about everywhere around this island.

The hunt was on for the first dive, we got a little lost, not really knowing where to go. Our directions where somewhere around 70ft and beside the island. HAHA. Very specific. About 20 mintues in we swim up to this reef of brown coral. Yes boring brown, but cool none the less.

We grabbed a couple samples and got some amazing footage and pics. If anyone gets a chance to dive in this lake i would take full advantage of it. Its a great experience. Ill will be the star of DiveZero issue 1, so check it out for sures hommies.

Luke will have some better pics for sure.

wow its been forever

2006-06-29T12:49:00.000-07:00

ive been lost in work lately so ive had a hard time trying to post. And of course steve never posts cause porn is 100 times better.

Right now the whole insurance renewal thing is going down for PADI. So everyone is rushing to get there forms in before the 30th. I havent even started, im not worried though. In the past Padi has given a 30 day grace period, because renewal time can be crazy.

Right now the store is kicking around the idea to go for a group rate. That means the shop will pay for everything. Bad thing is, if i ever leave the shop i will have to apply for my own insurance. Its not nessecarily bad, but just a little annoying.

Meanwhile ive had a bunch of classmates call and ask me about how they should go about renewing there insurance. HAHA. I dont even really know that much about it. But i guess thats what happens when your in the running to become a Scuba God.

i hit 66

2006-06-18T14:50:00.000-07:00

so today was the first open water session i made it to. The performance freediving class has been loads of fun and ive been loving it. Although my instructorship has taken spot number one on my list of things to do, so ive missed a few freediving classes.

Anyways, i did some practices and made it to 20m/66ft without a problem. The first few times a pulled myself down the rope and then back up. Then a started kicking down like a normal constant ballast dive, but i totally sucked. I dragged along the line several times, and my form was horrible. So i opted to work on my entry technique and just continue pull downs.

The last dive i did it was just a quick 20 like i had been doing all morning. Came back up, did my hook-breaths and my recovery breaths (if you were a freediver you would know what those are!). Then i went to go back down and couldnt equalize. Turns out i messed my ear up somehow....:( So i now i have a bad ear for a couple of weeks. Hopefully it will be alright to dive next weekend because im going to Pavillion Lake.

bird flew.

2006-06-16T17:26:00.000-07:00

a bird pooped on my buddys window.
said it was huge.
i laughed.
i only saw a balloon.

trials and tribulations

2006-06-15T12:19:00.000-07:00

what the eff is a tribulation...?

not what i thought.

So yesterday i got to tag along to a product meeting with Aqualung. If you didnt know Aqualung is the largest manufacturer of scuba goods in the world. The Head of Canada was there, as well as The North-West Regional Manager of the states. He knew just about everything. It was crazy. I got to see a couple new products. Some that were at DEMA '06 and some that havent been seen to consumers yet.

I got to express my opions towards the the new gear they had. Since i was the only one there under 30, it seemed my opion mattered a little. I was representing a generation, i felt important. Im pretty sure im going to rule the world.

And we got free lunch. It was a BBQ chicken BLT sandwich of the Gods. The Delta Hotel really knows were its at. There was even avacado on my samich

Pavillion Lake

2006-06-13T16:30:00.000-07:00

WAHOOOO. Me and Dive Zero crew are heading to Pavillion lake in 2 weeks. Were going to be filming the fresh water coral which boggles minds. Its not supposed to happen. NASA cant figure it out. Should be stellar!

Ill be there to strut my stuff underwater. So all you land lubbers can see how a real diver dives a dive site! It will all be on issue 1! You better check it out. Im going to be famous. Better start making friends with me now!

Dont all the dark greens and browns look exciting? Do you just get totally amped seeing these images? OMG DIVING IN A LAKE IS LIKE SO MUCH FUN!...

Check out Divezero.com for a teaser to issue 1.

too long

2006-06-12T12:20:00.000-07:00

so the reason that i havent posted in a number of days is mostly due to a random trip to kelowna. last thursday i woke up suddenly and said "OH SHIT, my insurance ran out!" It had already been 2 days since it ran out. Now since im a cheap little bugger, i have my car insured under my dads name, so that i get insurance for super cheap. So theres no way i could deal with it, without my dad present, and he lives in Kelowna. SOOOOO MAIL IT!......couldnt get there till tuesday, on the quickest shipment possible.

It was time to implement the sketchiest drive ever. I drove the non-insured car to kelowna from van in 3 and a half hours bought insurance went out for beers and drove back to work at 9 the next morning. HAHA. IM TOO AWESOME.

Whats really funny is this sign.

Moslty cause its absolutly correct. (this was right before the effin 'wall' of fog)
(this was just after the rain of death)
it started iff sunny and warm, transformed to effing foggy, then we had some dash of hardcore rain that almost stripped the paint off of my car. Everything but snow...although im sure that actually happened as well. And i experienced it all at 130 km in an uninsured car!!!
(this is me at 140km, NO HANDS PICTURE!)

since i got almost zero sleep that night, all sunday i was nodding off while working. Wether it was sitting at the till, eating lunch, filling tanks...just randomly falling asleep. I found out Holey Soles make good pillows.

Dude im getting a Dell

2006-06-06T12:03:00.000-07:00

haha, so i think all i can afford is an effin dell. i was looking everywhere for a cheaper, better computer, but Dell has quite a grip on the poor people market. once and for all i might actually have a lap top to effin get music, and download some real photos and tend to the more important things in life. Like video games!

i think im getting this fancy Inspiron 6400, for like 1300, shipping included. should be alright.

I could seriously go for some civilization 4.

if i should die while diving...

2006-06-05T13:45:00.000-07:00

a neat little thing i found on the scuba board

If I should die while diving.

If I should die while diving please do not hesitate to discuss the incident and assess every element with a view to furthering your understanding of how to enhance diver safety.

If I should die while diving get the facts. They won't be readily available and will definitely not be correct as reported by the media. But get the facts as best you can.

If I should die while diving understand, as I already do, that it will most likely involve fault on my part to some degree or another so do not hesitate to point that out.

If I should die while diving some of the fault will probably belong to my buddy and that needs to be honestly assessed as well though I must admit this is one area where I hope that compassion will be in the mix.

If I should die while diving there might be those who try to squelch discussion out of a misplaced notion of respect for the deceased, family and friends. They can say nice things about me at my funeral... but in the scuba community I want the incident discussed.

If I should die while diving at least I didn't die in bed.

geneienieniesis react

2006-06-05T12:31:00.000-07:00

ok so. on the last dive yesterday i noticed on my safety stop that i was at like 2 feet under the surface and my comp was readin 15 feet. then at the surface it was readin 7. And it said i was diving on the drive home. and all night. until i figure it hit the NDL and was like "WTF!? why are you still diving, and then just shut off."

so this morn, at work i turned it on and saw it still sucked at life. It flashed some wierd 'ALE' instead of turning on. And now its back to tell me ive been diving for last 2 hours at 5 feet. my max was 8 feet. : )

now im trying to get a new one for free from Diving Dynamics were i bought it from. Its been under a year, theres fresh batteries in it. And i treat it likes it gold, so there is no reason for it to be SUCKING! GRRRRRR.

This might make me buy a new comp. Matt has no money. Who wants to sponser a "buy matt a new comp fundraiser"....please?

advanced

2006-06-05T12:15:00.000-07:00

i wish all i had to teach were advanced open water classes. Talk about friggen easy classes to teach.

its amazing how easy it is to teach stuff to people that already know how to dive! Not to mention the majority of what they pay for is profit and i get some weres around $80 a student.

throw them in a classroom for 4 hours. teach everything they need to know about night, u/w nav, deep, eanx, and wreck diving. And then all you have to worry about is that you make an excellent breifing. theres no real skills involved (except for the nav) and all the dives are great!

we rolled to Porteau cove for 3 of them.
awesome
awesome
awesome

The vis was incredible. No current at the bottom. Tonnes of fishies and other marine life. I saw everythign i think you could on those dives. Saw a seal, some nudibranchs, several differnt kinds of fishes, several different kinds of anenomes, a feather star, couple different kind of jellies, and the list goes on.

Porteau is considered a fairly begginer spot, which it is, but by some of the veterans its considered boring. To be honest if i could do that dive every time i had a class i would never be bored. Theres all kinds to see!!!

splits

2006-06-02T13:10:00.000-07:00

no there not new.
they have been around forever.
yes they are better.
look at a whale.
get your head out of your ass.

I think almost everyday you get the ol' timer walking in to the shop and takin a gander at all the 'new' stuff the scuba world has to offer. Then you watch slowly as the roll towards the fin section....."so this is were technology is going with fins? are they any good?"

Split fins rock your socks. There more effiecent. They have more power. There easier on the ankle. It feels like nothings even on your foot compared to a blade fin. So if your buying fins, drop the extra dough for some splits. I suggest the Apollo Bio-fin or the Atomic Splitfin.

I use the Atomics and love them but i want to get a pair of the Apollo's. But my shop doesnt carry them.... :(

rain rain rain

2006-06-01T18:09:00.000-07:00

vancouver should be renamed to raining rainton.

/cheese.

so free diving tonight. should be pretty sweet, going to try and set a personal best for dynamic. Im gonna go for 100 ft/30 m, so thats 3 lengths of the pool underwater.

i signed up for the Scubaboard the other day, and lately i have been battling this idiot in the forums. he claims hes done all this free diving shit, and he has all these books that he read, etc. But he contradicts himself more then the fucking bible.

throughout this one thread he goes on to say that you cant do something and then by the end he says you can but only if you do this, and then finally he decideds that you can. The whole time stating what he said first was the same as the last.

wow, im going to shut up now, cause no one cares. BUT I WON THE WAR!

so ive decided that im going to be a post whore on Scubaboard, get my rank up real high and then tell everyone im better than them at diving. mostly cause i am though, mostly.

da benders

2006-05-29T16:21:00.000-07:00

so yesterday pulled off dives 3 and 4 of an open water class. And of course if your an instructor you know that means CESAAAAAAAA's. So after feeling not so great in the morning, tired and hungry(thats not so great in my books) i drove to Whytecliff with half the class and fellow instructor Derek. Pulled off the first dive doing 4 CESA's and to other accents. Every accent was as slow as possible, i thought.

MY SMALLEST BUBBLES WERE CRUISING PAST ME.

Anyways, as soon as i got out of the water i felt sorta wierd. Kinda like insta fatigue and a little bit of nausea. Later that day i couldnt keep my eyes open i was so tired, and i napped for a bit, when i woke up my shoulder was sore. It wasnt from sleeping in a wierd position or anything, it was a wierd pain.

Who knows, Im pretty sure if it was a small hit it was due to dehydration cause i hadnt had any water since the previous morning.

This is a pic of the chamber in Cayman. Its a sweet setup and way more advanced then the little baby i got trained on in Kelowna. It has BEDS! HAHA. and space enough for two peeps. Not only that but on of those little doors to put food in so you dont have to bring up the whole chamber from depth.

If your ever in Cayman, try and take a peak at it, of course thats a voluntary peak! ; )

shop games

2006-05-27T13:18:00.000-07:00

sometimes around the shop it can get a little boring and you need to lighten it up with some pranks and games. I like specialize in Tomfoolery and Shenanigans. HAHA. Keeping a very light mood is key to the Scuba Industry. Otherwise we would all go crazy 10x faster, and all hell would break loose and strangle the customers. (that almost happens already, but we still have the willpower to fight it. ;)

Thats why i love doing Open water courses. Everytime is different and everytime a student finds something new to screw up or forget. And almost evertime someone manages to do something you thought was impossible. Like holding there breath on a decent before doing the CESA (happend to a fellow instructor).

For those of you who dont know what a CESA is because you forgot or cause its been ages since your open water and havent reviewed anything...ever. A CESA is a Controled Emergency Swimming Ascent. Key word is 'ascent'

Derek decided to drop some kids off at the pool, while ill cleverly placed all the scuba tanks in the way of the door, so he couldnt get out.

Strange....

2006-05-26T03:24:00.000-07:00

So to start off, its strange that I'm posting. I don't post, I just license my moniker to brighten this dump up a bit. And provide a running mystery element. ooooooh aaaaaaaah. you cunts.
Yea I survived the atrocity that is ClubMed. I then promptly disappeared into the blackhole of sane community leadership known as hongcouver for a week, and have now been bumming around the ever inviting rutland. However, I've arranged to hold 3,
yes three, jobs over the summer season. ( Two of which being diving related, FTW!)
All that shit in less than a month. For those who know, this is a little strange for the steveOh.
The last two posts your master postwhore posted ( alliteration, not just for kiddies anymore) are strange too. There is gratuitis self pwnage followed by unabashed claims of pwning. Just pointing out the hypocracy for you slower types out there.

Lastly, the word three is now very strange indeed. Three, threeeee. WTF is up with that crap?

I drysuited steve

2006-05-25T14:07:00.000-07:00

So if anyone in the world doesnt know yet....that should be everybody.

I CERTIFIED STEVE IN A DRYSUIT!

that means im better. that means im a Scuba God. that measn i have more certs. MUAHAHA!

bonica defunkt

2006-05-25T13:27:00.000-07:00

so....as you may know. i recently purchased a Snapper XP Digital Camera from Bonica here in Vancouver. SUCK!

took it in the pool to try out the housing and camera. Took the housing itself first of course, checking for leaks. Everything was good. Put the camera in. WAHHOO, i was excited. Took a couple pics. HOLY FUCKING SHIT BATMAN.

"How much more blacker can that album get, the awnser is none more blacker!" - This is Spinal Tap

Fucking in a pool, bright light everywhere, it was taking shots as if it was night. Tried the flash, tried a strobe. If the picture wasnt as dark as a fat mans asshole, it was brighter then fuck, i think i saw god twice hidden in the bright light.

Dont buy this shit.

Morale of the story, buy good camera gear, dont cheap out thinking your going to be a winner. Plus buy shit from real Camera makers (eg. FUJI). Bonica's camera sucks so much goat taint, its quoted 3.2 mp were hiding somewhere. My effin camera phone takes better pictures, from a 1 mp motorola piece of shit. It came with this HUGE LCD screen at 2.5 inches. The screen had a quality of a tv from the 1960's. It was grainy, lacked color, very touchy.

K K Kelownaaaaa

2006-05-24T12:01:00.000-07:00

Just got back from a couple day trip to kelowna.

Drove there in record time, from work to kelowna in 3:15 hours. THATS A BIT OF AMAZING. I had dreams of going skimmin while i was there, and maybe scoring a new skimmmer off a friend. BUT every time it was nice and sunny i would get ready to go skimming and BAM, rain.

It rained to much.

I filmed with Divezero while i was there. It was the main reason i drove all the way home for a measly 2 days. I hosted the gear tune up section with an ex-PDT student nicknamed Burns. Hes been working on Royal Caribbean for the last year and a half. We gave some information about a pair of regs, 2 BC's (including the new solaris from Sherwood) and then the D6 from Suunto, a mask from Atomic, and a pair of Holey Soles. HAHA.

Hopefully viewers find it informitive, and next time we will work on providing more information, and examples of how to use the gear properly. Right now Divezero is just trying everything out to see how it will work and how the consumer will react to it. Ill work on my hosting talents as well. LOLOLOL

kelowna was fun and i miss it, and i want to go back again cause its warm and i got sun burnt in 40 mintues of being outside, im whiter then white, friggen european ancestry.

Love the Sundays

2006-05-21T12:08:00.000-07:00

i have gotta love the sundays at the shop.

so chill
so slack
so sunny
so awesome

loves it.

I havent been able to take full advantage of the sunday shift, since i have been teaching mostly on my sundays and/or somone else had that shift instead of your glorious matt. The customers are normally all divers. Usually with air fills so they can hop right out and dive again, so you dont have to deal with "Are those Crocs?"....

Plus a big upside is i put on whatevereere music i want. SO a little brand new, some jack johnson, a touch of sublime, lace it with some of matt goods gooders, and rap it all of with a mix of acoustic lovelies. You have to take very good care with the music you pick to play in the shop, cause theres nothing worse then have a granny walk in when your blasting tool, or some 'from first to last'. HAHA. they dont like that very much aka. hurts the business. they dont buy there snorkelin gear for there cruise fuck who cares BLAST THAT SHIT BITCH!

do or die with Bonica

2006-05-19T14:25:00.000-07:00

so ive been debating all this week wether or not i should buy this new-ish underwater camera from Bonica. It looks amazing, and exactly what i wanted for, and the price i had budgeted for. Then i saw there add in Northwest Dive News, and an article, saying it works amazing for anyone wanting a simple point and shoot camera.
Which is good cause i just want something beginnerish until i decide to drop a G on an SLR or a couple G's on a HD vid cam.

THEN i talked to a good buddy of mine who has dealt with Bonica, and bought one of there cameras before. It wasnt quite the same model as im getting, but the story is....First off the camera housing leaked (awesome). So he sent it back, Then the cameras housing buttons didnt work (even better). Then after like 3 times of back and forth and shipping costs, Bonica decided that they didnt care anymore and stopped helping him.

So this makes me think, WHAT THE EFF HAPPENS IF MINES BROKEN?

After checking out there website 5 million times, and getting pissed off, i broke down and bought one. oh, consumerism how you hurt me so. I actually just ordered right in the middle of this post. Its the special dealer price with a nice 1G memory card in it. So i SHOULD be happy.

Im going to use it to take pic's of my classes and give out some souviners pictures!

advanced

2006-05-19T13:39:00.000-07:00

IM getting pretty excited for my next class. Its going to be Advanced Open Water. Looking at about a group of 5 i believe. Its going to be a great experience....good or bad. haha.

The advanced course consists of 5 specfic dives. Each one giving you a taste of a different specialty. For the class i have coming up in June, I have picked Night, Wreck, Deep, Underwater Navigation, Enriched air. There basically the most popular by far. Deep and Underwater Navigation are mandatory.

The advanced course is the first real diver course. Mostly because it weeds out the idiots who are being tagged along with there spouses, Or even worse just the idiots....! Everyone taking this course, likes diving, wants to learn more, and have a basic knowledge of how everything works. This makes it a 100 times easier as instructor trying to teach. These students pay attention and want to learn. Also on top of that, this course has very little class room. The majority is spent in the open water doing dives, and its only 2 days long.

Being its only 2 days, that means you have some 'homework' to do. you have to of course read all the sections in the advanced book relating to the dives will be doing, and finish the quizes. BUT THATS IT! no tests.

The dives are the tests!

Plus this will add nicely to my MSDT, which i am eligeble for on the 15th of June.

WAHHHHHHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

3 car pile up....LOL

2006-05-17T12:56:00.001-07:00

today i was late for my bestest job evers. thats right scuba duba instructor.

the reason for this set back on my day was a nice 3 car pile up on the highway. Gotta love it when a semi pushes a nice CLK Kompressor under an F-250. That bitch got some sandwich action.

The best part of the bumper to bumper traffic was the second accident, Or the one caused by idiots being idiots and driving into each other cause there both in such a hurry to speed through a traffic jam. Brakes were invented for a reason, so was common sense. Get some.

Its always a good day though, when you walk in the store, and everyone else is late as well. Then you dont feel to bad, but even better, is when a customer calls up within 15 mintues of being in the store, and wants to buy 2 complete sets of atomic regs.

2 Atomic B2 w/swivel
2 Z2 Octopusses
2 Halcyon 5000 psi gauges

and to top it all off a Suunto Stinger. Just a $1000 computer, no Biggie.

You always get that warm fuzzy feeling that a diver is buying brand new stuff. and your racking in comission. :P

DIVE ZERO IS UP

2006-05-17T12:10:00.000-07:00

The site millions have waited for, is finally online. Its been months since Luke said he would have a site, and for a moment there was one. It sucked. We moved on and now theres a brand spanking new one.

Its amazing. check it out

im stoked for the first issue coming out this summer. Im going to be showcasing the gear portions. Look for reviews on some of the industries newest gear!

week 4.

2006-05-13T18:30:00.000-07:00

(after diving pics never look good....)

Last thursday night was free diving session number 4!

i was sooooo tired for it, but none the less exciting. We learned proper breathing techniques and proper equalization techniques. I never even knew some of the equalization methods. I wish the taught more of them in the divemaster course, or at least the instructor course cause then maybe i would be pro at it.

every week were given a 'homework' assignment of running at a target heart rate, and then doing diaphragm stretches. I havent done any of the sessions yet, so i was thinking im going to start sucking cause everyone else seems to be doing them.

but no.

im stil bestest. HAHA. I just giver on the cardio workouts, and beat everyone in the lame lil relay races. My entry techniques are almost bang on campared to the rest of the class, that doesnt seem to really have a clue.

I made 4 whole effin minutes on the static breath hold! thats 4! i said 4! lol. it was awsome.

My buddy for the static blackout at about 4:20, so hes breath hold didnt count. So i had the longest breath hold time by far. I think if i get serious i could be friggen good.

Pro.just like i am at hop to the top on ebaums. Thats right derek i got the high score!

the 'edoc'

2006-05-13T18:28:00.000-07:00

i read this book.

so good until the last 5 chapters were i figured out the ending, and it was gay. A real author writes a book with a good ending. Dan Brown, learn some new tricks.

After allllll the codes and the poems, and secrets The Holy grail is in the Louve. RIGHT WERE THEY STARTED! I just ruined it for you haha.

owned.

skimmmmin

2006-05-12T19:39:00.005-07:00

Oh man i have missed it soooooooooo much. I havent skimmed, well since jan 1st of this year. But that was more just to say i did it then to enjoy it. I was way to cold in kelowna to enjoy it. HAHA.

I rolled down to White Rock yesterday just to skim. HAHA, took me forever cause i really had no idea were i was going, except that i had to go south of van. I made it though. Just took a little longer than expectede. Who needs maps when you've got a great sense of direction.

So the skimming was amazing. i really need a new board though. seriously. the one i have is an old home made one, and its beat down, and starting to rot from being under all my wet dive gear again and again. Im think epoxy this time, instead of faberglass or polyurathane.

I rippped it up. Its going to take a few more times out before i get back to the skill level i was at last summer. i used to kinda be good. LOL. Plus im outta shape bad.

It helps to get into shape with all the sprinitng involved. I used it as some of my 'homework' workout sessions for my free diving class. Im going to do the same next week as well.

HOLEY SOLES

2006-05-09T23:48:00.000-07:00

so the craze of wierd, ugly, foamy shoes has hit North Vancouver.

Holey soles are the lovely canadian rip offs of the hit shoe/sandal thing known as Croc's from california, USA. There the exact friggen thing, maybe slight differences in sizes. But for the most part the same.

We are the only dealer for Holey soles in North Van. We get tonnes of women (mostly) coming in every day to purchase or at least gander and gab about these foam feet creations.

Croc's are know everywhere because of there ads in Time magazine and other famous places. So everyday people come in saying, How much are you Croc's. My answer is "Those are not Crocs, there Holey Soles, and there better."

Reason #1
- They cost 24.95 instead of 34.99 or more(which are the price of Croc's)

Reason #2
-There CANADIAN, for the love of god support anything made in canada, cause were running out of exports.

Reason #3
-They come in all the same freakin colors, sizes, shapes, and what have you nots.

Reason #4
-Did i mention there cheaper?

So when you come in my damn store, DO NOT ASK IF THERE CROC'S! because i will stab you in the face with the nice titanium knives we have on sale.

These are Croc's!

These are Holey Soles!

CAN YOU TELL THE DIIFERENCE? TAKE THE HOLEY SOLE CHALLENGE. lol

the adventure of OPEN WATER

2006-05-09T23:36:00.000-07:00

so, wow, big weekend. busy weekend.

Steve got back from turks and i decided since he sucks so much bum and only got one cert in 3 months that i would help him out. So he came down on sunday to help out with my supposed HUGE class.

The class was 13 when i asked him to come down cause i a) needed another instructor and b) needed a dive master for the OW at least. By them time sunday rolled around. 2 people dropped out randomly. Then another 2 dropped out cause one of them got sick, so they moved into the night course. So the class was finally reduced to 6. that doesnt add up, but well i dont know. Im a SCUBA instructor not a mathmatician.

So we flew through all the modules in hyper speed cause we had 2 instructors to 6 people.

Its still amazes me, and probably will contine to amaze me, at how much people dont listen. I think i went through how to properly assemble the scuba unit like 3 times, fully and dishing out pointers through out the day. AND STILL some people had trouble. Its like the most mother fucking easiest thing to do. Im amazed some of these people make it through life.

The next course...

2006-05-03T17:06:00.000-07:00

So my next lovely open water course is set to happen this weekend. Im looking forward to it as always. However this weekend is going to be pretty crazy. With three people only staffed at the shop, it makes it hard to do classes. We need 2 people in the shop at all times at the least. And most of the time you need 3 people on busy days. we havent had any busy days yet, but soon, soon! HAHA.
(doesnt the bean in my nose inspire confidence in my instruting abilities!!!!)

So back to the calss, this wekend we have 13 people ssigned up for the open water class. 13! 13! 13!. well to be honest its actually only 12 full open water students and then the last one is taking just the open water. She has to finish the course off. But that still totals the number of certs to 13. As a PADI open water instructor we have to be carefull because we are only allowed a ratio of 8 students to one instructor.

For the classroom there is not limit, other then the ones the instructor him/herself whishes to impose. Howeever as soon as the pool starts on sunday, it begins. So that means im going to have to break them up into 2 groups and one group at a time do there skills and then switch. So while one group is doing there skills the next will be switching there tanks, getting warmed up in the hot tub, snacking and then getting ready to be in the water as soon as the other group is done there confined dive.

IM NEVER GETTING OUT OF THE WATER. NEVER! Ill eat, drink and be merry in a 3mm and scuba gear allllll day. WAHOOOOO!

With 2 other staff working in the shop that means, one of us have to instruct alone or look for the aid of a divemaster. right now im trying to get as many certs as possible so i do not want to enlist the help of another instructor. This implies the great need for a good and trusty divemasters. So if you ever question why to become a divemaster, its to help instructors, get deals on gear, get dives under your belt, and ultimatly push your way to becoming an instructor as well. any divemasters out there in the van area that wanna help an instructor out? HAHA.

hey steve drive here and help......!

Steve is BACK

2006-05-03T17:00:00.000-07:00

so fellow contributor steve is finally back from his escapade in Turks. He has been working like a 'slave' in a club med on Turks and Caicos for the last few months. He has some incredible diving under his belt for sure and hopeully he will tell us all the good things to see there. Turks isnt on my list for immediate locations to hit up after ive gone crazy in canada, but im sure ill end up there one day for a few weeks of all inclusive at least. AHAHA. Maybe when im an old lazy bum and want to go hit on all the "MILF's". He arrived home yesterday probably with a mildly sized hang over at around 11:30 at night. SO now maybe he can start to post stuff again....or at least more than ONCE!

'][' ([]) ([]) [[_

2006-05-03T16:51:00.000-07:00

picked up tool's latest. there first in 5 years or soemthing. so good. im in love with tool all over again. its totally messed up like any other tool album, but they manage to make there mested-upness (new werd!) sound really fucking good. The cd case has a couple of stereoscopic lenses on it so you can look at these neat little pictures in the album. really cool but they hurt my eyes, and now i have a headache.

but pick it up if your a fan. cause it rocks, my socks better than the fox rocks my cock.

fun or money?

2006-05-01T12:12:00.000-07:00

so out after getting the last paycheck or cheque, whatever. i crunched the numbers of income average spending and what not. then i looked at the student loans i have. then i laughed. then i cried. then fell into a great depression which i tried to hide with drinking. this all happend this morning by the way. im going to be paying of loans forever. and ever. did i mention forever?

the scuba life is not one made of millions unless your a manfacturer, a business owner, or you use scuba to take drugs across borders. AND even then its not quite lucrative. Peeps on the cruise ships have it good though since they dont pay room or board.

but i guess, when i go south it will be easier. ill make just as much money but the costs will be less, and it will be sunny and warm and nice, and my house will be a hammock with a fridge built into the trees that hold my lovely hammock up. i will switch between a banana hammock and a pair of shorts for clothes. i will never were a shirt cause im a man, even in storms ill grit my teeth and be yell," HA! its winter in canada!" then go to sleep with my pineapples and coconuts in my hammock.

thats my dream.

The Padi Break down

2006-05-01T12:05:00.000-07:00

Certification Breakdown for
MATTHEW PATTERSON

If you are applying for Master Scuba Diver Trainer or Master Instructor, please contact your PADI Office to verify student counts.

01-May-2006
Level 2006 2005 2004 Prior Years(since 1984)
Core Certifications
Scuba Diver 4 0 0 0
Openwater 5 0 0 0
Junior Openwater 1 0 0 0
Subtotal 10 0 0 0
Total Core Certifications 10

Specialty Certifications
Dry Suit 1 0 0 0
Subtotal 1 0 0 0
Total Specialty Certifications 1

Diving Experience Certifications
DSD - divide by 5 for credit 2 0 0 0
AWARE Coral Reef Conservation Specialty 1 0 0 0
Subtotal 3 0 0 0
Total Non Diving Certifications 3

Total Certifications for All Levels 14 0 0 0
Total Certifications for All Levels Since 1984 14

the big 14!

2006-04-29T20:45:00.000-07:00

Thats right im at 14 certs now. HAHA. i love it.

today was dive four of my second open water class. AND LET ME TELL YOU! the vis. well i shouldnt say 'the vis' cause there was none. i should pray to the vis gods more, cause today i got the shaft. I would have been happy if i had at least a foot, but no. it was like diving blindfolded.

Suprisingly the class pulled it of great. They all concentrated and did there skills without being able to see, so i mean, they have to be good dives based on that fact right there.

Canada produces some of the best divers in the world for a reason. NO VIS. HAHA.

A couple of them are heading south right away for a vacation and diving is going to be a part of that. I told them there going to smoke the rest of the divers there. Resort course divers are by far the worst divers there is. Im not saying all of them are bad, just in general they suck pole.

there a yard sale. because my divers have 14 mm of neoprene on OR a drysuit, hoods, 5mm gloves and an ass load of wieght, they can handle themselves quite well in tropics. they drop the suit(or at least most of it) and most of the wieght and the gloves and hood. So when there diving there diving with wayyyy less gear, so there 10x more comfortable and pay attention to there bouyancy, depth, and air a lot more, so there bang on with everything.

WERE BETTER!

Performance Freediving

2006-04-28T20:00:00.000-07:00

so i started this new class/course/thing. 12 week free diving program. We get tested by docters at SFU before and after 12 weeks of training to see the metabolic effects of free diving. I guess by the end we are supposed to be able to hold our breath 3 times that of what we can now.

From our shop me and my manager are the only ones that signed up for it. We sent a cheque away to them like a month ago for the course but they never got it. So we were never signed up for the course officially even though Mandy knew that we wanted to be in it. Not a big deal, except we dont have our books or out suits yet. SO we show up last night with such ghetto stuff.

I had a 3mm Bare suit with a 7mm jacket from one of the suits in our rental dept. My manager had a Pinnicle 5/4 (wayy better than my crapy bare suit) and a jacket from the rental dept. as well. SO we both look totally....uh....whats a good word here, i dont know OFF. haha. everone else is in matching special strechy free diving suits. So hopefully next time ill have my suit, or my books or both!

most of the class had taken a 2 week program earlier on so they already kinda knew everything. I have no clue really about anything because i just jumped into this like last night, and not having my books i havent been able to read.

So figuring everyone else was soooooooo far ahead of me that they were going to totally destroy me in the pool. WRONG! i was by far the best...haha im full of myself. but seriously i destroyed everyone on the swims, i got the entries down faster then most. One guy had a mono fin and i rocked his sock with my crappy little Mares fins. BAAAAM!

so i think they should offer me a spot on the team,,,,if i do good in the OW, which i think i will.

check out there siteperformance free diving.

divezero is BACK!

2006-04-27T10:19:00.000-07:00

well just there forums anyways. check them out if your a diver.

One of my buddies from PDT started this bad boy up. Hes a novice underwater videographer and he is starting the first online scuba diving video magazine (thats a mouthfull, or should i say typefull). Its going to be pretty crazy, eventually i will most liekly be starring in it. EXCITED YET?

Issue one is coming out soon so its going to be crazy, not to sure how its goign to be distributed. My guess is you can buy it online, on there site or get it from/through your local dive shop. Its probably only going to be in Canada (BC) ((lower main land/interior)) until it takes off which should be by episode 2, cause well, ill be in that one ; ).

Its going to cover everything. Theres a new product section, a whole section on diving in cayman, moat likely some stuff on PDT (since thats the reasson luke was in cayman). SO CHCEK IT OUT

i stole it from mr.pierce

2006-04-25T19:39:00.000-07:00

I would steal everything from the busblog but he doesnt talk about scuba diving that much, so it kinda doesnt fit with my theme. even though my theme is loosely based.bla bla bla. i only have like 250 songs on my ipod at the moment so the bands are kinda limited. lets see what i get.

Put your music player on shuffle. Press forward for each question. Use the song title as the answer to the question. Post on your blog.

Will I get far in life?
Mind Flood - Sam Roberts

How do my friends see me?
Ex's and Oh's - Atreyu

Where will I get married?
Freak Me Out - Weezer

What is my best friend’s theme song?
Slow Dance - Sense Fail

What is the story of my life?
In The Water I Am Beautiful - City and Colour (perfect)

What was high school like?
Shameful - Atreyu (LOL)

How can I get ahead in life?
The Walk - Imogen Heap

What is the best thing about me?
Cold War - Death from Above 1979

How is today going to be?
Save your Scissors - City and Colour

What is in store for this weekend?
Your Private War - Atreyu (wow a hat trick)

What song describes my parents?
Dreaming - System of a Down

My grandparents?
Something in the Way - Nirvana

How is my life going?
Polygraph, Right Now - Spill Canvas

What song will they play at my funeral?
The Levy - From first to Last

How does the world see me?
Pull Out - Death From Above 1979

Will I have a happy life?
Jesus Doesnt Want Me For A Sunbeam - Nirvana (uh oh)

What do my friends really think of me?
A Decade Under The Influence - Taking Back Sunday (haha, oh man)

Do people secretly lust after me?
All Hail The Heartbreaker - Spill Canvas

How can I make myself happy?
The Latest Plague - From First To Last

What should I do with my life?
Hide and Seek - Imogen Heap

Will I ever have children?
B.Y.O.B - System of a Down

What is some good advice?
Harvest Moon - Neil Young

What is my signature dancing song?
The Resistance - Sam Roberts

What do I think my current theme song is?
Another fun Track - Senses Fail

What does everyone else think my current theme song is?
The Needle and The Damage Done - Neil Young

What type of men/women do you like?
The One Armed Boxder Vs. The Flying Guillotine - From first to Last (thats not good)

What is going to happen tomorrow?
Stare at the sun(acoustic) - Thrice (im going blind tomorrow, WAHOO)

SO LOOKS LIKE I NEED SOME MORE EFFIN MUSIC ON THIS BEAST. I havent put all my music on it yet, im far to lazy, just been doing the new stuff ive been getting.( i added that last question, cause im cool)

stuff i want.

2006-04-25T19:05:00.000-07:00

ive got an on going list of junk i need to buy. mostly for diving of course. ive nailed it down to a brand spanking new drysuit(most likely a mobbys armour pro). Im getting a little sick and tired of using a rental one, for a number of reasons.

a)) i cant get into it myself, ie. need a buddy. and for rescue reasons i want to be able to put on all my own gear by myself and quickly without a buddy. also if i have a class thats onl using wetsuits, i dont have to be botherd with making them zip me up(not that thats a big deal)
b))im tired of having a leaky suit. the rental are all neoprene seals, so they have been stretched from fat people and there fat arms using them. thus making my normal person sized arms to skinny for the seals and thus leaking a little every dive.
c))doesnt dry fast enough. A neoprene drysuit although warmer than a shell doesnt dry nearly fast enough, takes usually a day(24 hours) at least to dry fully. were as a shell suit takes 2 hours roughly.

Another thing i want is a new computer (which would be an easy guess from all the posts about comp's recently) Mostly just so i can have a back up in case one fails, but the D6's are looking sooooooo slick and it would eliminate my need to buy a watch, so i want one. WANT ONE! the first reason i wanted to get a new computer is cause i wanted air integrated, which is the only reason i havent come ot a final descion.

One more big thing is a freaking camera with of course underwater housing. I need one so i can capture all the neat stuff i see underwater, and take little vids of bieing sutpid u/w. cause hey, Jackass hasnt done anything dum underwater yet. Maybe i can make some extra bucks being a fool. Plus i hope one day when Luke decides that im a great asset to divezero he hook me up.

McTricks

2006-04-25T16:48:00.000-07:00

i was sucked in to the Mcdonalds again. i bought some tasty mcnuggets, with sweet and sour sauce. its been weeks since my last meal there. i was trying to go cold wendy's but, the sweet satly goodenss of there fries brougth me back.

they dont have meal deals anymore. i had the week almost memorized too, and now its all just useless information. the replaced the daily meal deal with an 'everday' option of 3 burgers and other assorted side items at a $1.39, or you can 'make it a meal' for $3.49.

thats my last time... i swear.

!doog ttam

2006-04-24T10:20:00.000-07:00

i saw matt good live in concert last thursday (and yes im posting about it now). He was friggen good, just like his name. He rocked my socks and more!

Played just about evey song he could as an acoustic song, and as well him and the guests he was with came on and did a huge cover of 'hurt' by johnny cash. oo buddy that was deadly.

So i got to the show at say 5 minutes to 8 ( show started at 8) and walked around thinkin were the eff am i going to sit. Managed to pull off a nice front row seat. HAHA so i was literally a foot from the stage throughtout the show. Oh so good.

He made some good funnies as well, of course about politics, but he only really touched on that a little bit. Well at least not as much as i thought he might.

He really made me want to go out and buy a new guitar, one with a pick up and an amp, cause then maybe i will sound better if im louder. HAHA.

i hope he doesn another tour soon, cause i know im going to be at that one as well.

DIVE INTO EARTH DAY!

2006-04-22T19:04:00.000-07:00

so today my shop did a nice dive into earth day....dive. The did a nice clean-up at the government warf in deep cove. Lots of shit down there. One guy found a toilet, there was a boat/car battery, lots of old beer botles, some wierd stump thing (which i have no idea why they brought it up, its wood), a paddle, a hammer, a razor scooter, a bicycle, and some other big item that has escaped my mind at this moment.

i dont understand why people just huck shit in the water they dont want anymore. its like no one will find out. well i guess no one does find out. haha. but still its bad! people suck.

it was a pretty sweet setup. some news people came, gave us da free advertising. WERD. than there was hot dogs, chips, cookies and some sorta drink. I dont really know what went on, i was working in the shop cause "HEY! someones gotta work".

i dont have any pics of the earth day/clean up/dive thing. but i do have a pic of our van. sweet i know.

a gimcrack and a half

2006-04-21T20:23:00.000-07:00

so buddy walks in with this pony bottle contraption. first thing im thinkin is hes crazy. second thing im thinking is.....well i wasnt thinking i was laughin!

Hes got wieghts and some wierd hosing and all this crazy junk strapped to a tiny pony bottle. his story is he uses it for gooey duck hunting. he hunts on surface supply and this is his back up. somehow i guess it makes sense. i myself would never trust this gimcrack operation.

the big piece of tubing is so he can turn it on and not remove it from his back. ehem. lazy......and what if it slips and doesnt turn it on, and your at 50 ft. can you CESA fifty times fast?

gimcrack is my new word by the way.

the cut

2006-04-21T19:57:00.000-07:00

last wednesday night. the scuba gods of Great Pacific Diving hit up the ocean for a dive. it was friggen awesome. best dive i have done since moving to vancouver. there was lots of fishies and this HUGE anenome garden. so deadly.

the sites right in this little crevace(i cant spell that word right now), theres stairs from whytecliff park right down to the waters edge. very good access. Theres this little plateau of about 5 feet for about 20 feet. great for entries and exits. then it drops off to a wall on your right and left to like 200 feet then it plateaus again and drops off to whos knows how deep.

Dive profile was a multi for sure. stayed at an enjoyable 70 80 range for 15 min then stopped at 60 for 5 min or so before heading to 30 as we came back into whytecliff bay. i suggest anyone who can dive it to dive it!

i look like a total fool in my neoprene suit. i gotta get me a nice new shell. when your diving everyday the neoprene never gets a chance to get dry, a shell drys in like minutes.

i got some pretty sweet pics of the site. well at least i think so. HAHA. there right as the sun was going down so there kinda dark.

4/20

2006-04-20T16:40:00.000-07:00

"1001, 1002, 1003, 1004.....just sculpting my guns, i dont know if you heard just now, but i did over a thousand"

The Gemini.

2006-04-20T12:16:00.000-07:00

Cochran Undersea Technology.

Pretty crazy little unit. Its the other choice i have been stricken with. I cant decide between these two lovely electronic underwater diving devices.

the gemini has all the bells and whistles that the suunto does, except of course, the digital compass. In the end of things though a digital compass is not a big deal because any serious diver has backups and or a regular compass.

the cochran is geared towards tech divers more, catering to the navy with there own specific model. it has a great software system, any of the cochran line is upgradable to nitrox without haveing to buy another computer.

So if gramps decides that hes still oldschool and just buys the air-only model and then comes back 2 weeks later crying cause he wants nitrox after he dropped 600$ on this air only unit, you can say "ITS OK!". As a cochran dealer you can upgrade the computer for 150$ to nitrox. Takes about 30 seconds. I watched it happen yesterday.

The cochran also has a great screen. With huge numbers and displays all the information so you dont have to fiddle with little buttons here an there trying to find what you want.

Its an ugly brute, but packs a punch with quality. It comes in 7 colours and 2 backlight optional colours (red being standard). My favourite being Navy Black, cause im cool and im an underwater ninja! Hiiiiiya!

The Gemini is actually 2 computers in 1. Since the tank adapter is a seprate computer that calculates several different things and stores all the data before transmitting it to the wrist mount comp. The wrist console determines depth, temp, NDL's. Whiles the tank adapter calculaters dive time, air integration, approx. time left before air runs out (based on your air consumption from the dive, and previous dives).

This and the D9 make my little Gensis react look like a fucking 20$ timex watch found at walmart.

Retail runs at various amounts depending on if you choose air only, 1 FO2, 2 FO2, 3 FO2, 1 PO2 + 3 FO2, 2PO2 + 3FO2. Those meaning 1,2 or 3 nitrox/air blends at 21-99% and PO2 refers to rebreather use. So for recreational divers thats shouldnt matter, but the options there if you want it. The price is anywhere from 1600$ - 3000$ going from just air to 'i do everything except wipe your ass'.

So its rugged, custom and amazing vs hott, sleek and almost as amazing.

Gemini Vs. D9

The D9/D6....a computer god?

2006-04-19T17:49:00.000-07:00

So suunto has the diving computer of all diving computers. At least in my mind. The cochran is its competitor, but thats another story...for tomorrow.

Its the all-in-one solution to your diving computer needs. It displays depth, time, tank pressure, decompression status, direction( How you say? with a digital compass thats how!), just to name a few.

With the transmitter the D9 will show your tank pressure as a display, (ex. 2450 psi) or as a grapth. This allows the diver to monitor depth, NDL, time and air all in one nice location, instead of flipping through 4 gauges. And because of this real-time are cosumption is also stored in the memory.

Of course the beast does Nitrox. Anywhere from 21-100% O2, with three possible gas mixes. And the D9 uses the Suunto RGBM model which provides deep stops as an alternative to traditional 15 footers.

The sampling rate ( time between calculations of depth and time, to provide your NDL's) can be set as low as 1 second and theres a maximum depth of 200m or for imperial uses of North America, 660 ft. WAHOOOO. whos coming to 660 with me?

The computer has a dive planner function. which allows you to view your logged dives with temperature, tank pressure and of course all the other fun stuff that goes with a dive log.

Its titanium housing and you can get a USB-compatible PC interface and Suunto Dive manager software to make loggin dives even easier!

Features:
-4 opertaing modes (Air, Nitrox, Gauge, Time)
-Digital compass
-Complete decompression stop data
-Gas switching between up to three nitrox mixes containing 21-100% 02
-Optional wireless transmitter providing cylinder pressure and remaining air data
-36h profile memory
-36h logbook memory
-Profile memory bookmark
-lifetime history memory
-USB compatible PC inteface included
-Multi step ascent rate indicator
-Personal adjustment
-Altitude adjustment 0-3000m (0-10000ft)
-Extended decompression range (ceiling, floor)
-Dive planner
-Calander Clock
-Alarm clock
-Stopwatch function in gauge mode
-Electroluminescent illumintation (backlight)
-Depth display range 0-199m (0-660ft)
-Audible alarms
-Max. depth alarm
-User-selectable metric or imperial units
-Suunto RGBM with deep stop option

D9: Retail w/ transmitter 1,999.95 WOWZERS!
w/out tansmitter 1,499.95

even though its worth as much as my car i still want one. HAHA. Its the ideal tropical computer. If the price is just a little out of your range you can settle for a D6. Its basically the D9 but only few minor changes.

D6: Retail runs at about 1,099.95

Those changes are small, but pricey! For starters theres no air integration, only 2 gas switches instead of three. Max depth is 150m (492ft).

Free Diving

2006-04-18T21:09:00.000-07:00

So some records have been broken in cayman over the last month. Some world ones and some national ones. Crazy people trying to swim the deepest on a single breath of air. After a couple hundred feet it just gets ridiculous.

So i think im going to sign up for it!!!! HAHA well theres this course starting this week. Better sign up soon. Its run by the free divers who just broke records in Cayman. So you know it has to be good. I think its like 750$ though. so thats mostly why i havent signed up yet. but you do get 150$ back if you do this final test thing and cause im with a shop a get a deal.

SO its a yes. i think. They garuntee at the end of the course you can hold your breath for 3 mintues. which is good. But i can already hold mine for 2. so one minute for 750.....not really worth it. But then i think they one guy who just broke a record started in this course, now he teaches it and he started when he was 28.

So i think i would be pro.

Club Dives

2006-04-18T20:44:00.000-07:00

Every Wednesday my shop supports a night dive.
If you come you get free air. Pretty good deal since, air fills are 8$. i think as well they should have free tank rentals, but i dont get to decide that stuff.

Club Dives are very important part of a dive shop. It a) establishes a core customer base and b) gives new divers a chance to meet new dive buddies. Not to mention its a goood time to try out any new gear because most of the time theres a few instructors and divemasters going out. Even though its a night dive, and your never supposed to try new gear on a night dives, i think its fine since you start the dive in the sunlight during the summer time.

so any shop that doesnt have a club dive SUCKS. ehem THE EDGE!
were so good were gonna have 2!!!!!!!!!!

i tackled the ocean with a fury

2006-04-15T15:55:00.000-07:00

today.
was open water day.
for my open water scuba diver class.
the first day is always a gong show.
nothing new today.
the visiblty sucked my ass.
2 feet max.
had to go to 40 feet just to see anything.
which is to deep for there first dive.
so i made an oops.
no biggie.
there pro.
they learned from a scuba god.
; )
canceled dive 2 in hopes tomorrow would be better.
lets hope it is.
i dont think it will be.
YAAY for cold water diving!

So one thing with cold water diving when the plankton blooms happen and the spring run off dumps in to the ocean. THE VIS IS BRUTAL. So it makes teaching hard. BUT it does make some pretty awesome divers if they get through it. Were going to go at her hard tomorrow. Balls to the wall.

the pics messed i know. its awesome. random google searches rule!

PADI Specialty of the month!

2006-04-14T16:15:00.000-07:00

Discover Underwater Photography. with PADI Digital Underwater Photographer Specialty!

Probably one of the coolest things to do under water cause theres so much room for new pictres and new creativity. I cant wait till i get this specialty and then the instructor specialty. i think its actually a usefull specialty to get someone started.

Its expensive hobby of course. Cameras and housings of decent caliber cost upwards and past 1000$$$ so basically you need to be rich. Or find away to whore yourself out for the money until you can live off your photo skills. But f you do make it. Talk about easy job. OMG. Fuckin lucky basterds.

Im sure i would be streesful if you can tget a certain shot or something, and then theres things like plankton blooms that would make it tough. BUT at the end of the day your diving, not working.

Plus mr. Ikelite is giving out a 50$ rebate on anyone taking the course this month, and you have to make a purchase of something Ikelite over a 700$. Shouldnt be hard.

k so the low down

2006-04-14T16:07:00.000-07:00

My boss supsedly has a program on the network at work. This makes it so he can a) see what im doing or what anyone else is doing on the computer at any time. b) he can also control the computer. So lets say if i was on msn and then had a customer and left for a bit and he sorta realized i was busy and not on the computer. He could go through my contact list, check my email, talk to someone....whatever he wants.

SCARY.

He would never do anything like that cause hes a good guy, but im sorta hesitant to blog at work because if i was to say something about the business and he found out and it was bad and and and....it would just be bad.

fucking technology. meh whatever.

OW Divers

2006-04-10T17:43:00.000-07:00

Holy crap. Im in the middle of 2 ow classes right now. very busy. lot of work. but its fun and im stoked to get crazy amounts of certs from it. My weekend class is liek on the verge of being pro cause im a scuba teaching god. they nailed all of there skills on the first try, and they understand all of them to.

The only thing i think thats going to be a problem is that 3 out of the 5 of them are going to be in wetsuits on the ow dives. Can you say 'whining, annoying women?'

besides that i think im going to get a BC and reg out of the weekend course. CAN YOU SAY 'HECK YA?'

Today i had to work, but i had forgot this and thought i had the day off cause i normally do. My phone was dead as well. so that means when worked called to see where i was, they got my awnsering machine while i was sleeping away the day. LOL.
so at 5 i finally got there msg after being up for a bit and having my charged.

halcyoncyoncyon

2006-04-06T15:04:00.000-07:00

HALCYON. DIR(doing it right). KISS(keep it simple, stupid)

Halcyon scuba gear is as tech as scuba gear comes, yet still crazy simple. There motto's like that of other manufacturers are DIR and KISS. Of course if you know anything of rebreathers, KISS comes from KISS rebreathers. (i want one, my shops a dealer for them...:)

There BCD's are so simple yet work perfectly good. If anyone has seen the movie 'Into the Blue' then you should know that Paul walker and Jessica Alba both used Halcyon BCD's. They also use posiedon regs... but thats another story.

Although a great BC, my view is that its horrible for teaching. I have yet to try one but im still skeptical. The back inflate, great in the water, but on the surface when your talking and for pool sessions... horrible. Also there are no buckles on a halcyon, just straps. So that means when donning and doffing your BC, you have to sorta 'jiggle' until it comes off. So say your teaching a rescue course, or even if your rescuing someone, im sure there not going to like it when you take 5 mintues to 'jiggle' your BC off yourself.(that sounds dirty if you read just the end of that sentence).

Today we customized some integrated BC pockets for a customer. We burned holes into the straps so we could rivot an additional D-ring onto the pocket. For some reason Halycon doesnt just make both pockets with the D-rings...so we had to improvise. We tried to see if Brooks down the street would help us out and sew it and make it all nice, but they suck too much.

By the way 'Halcyon and on" is a good song from the Hackers soundtrack. : )

OMG PADI!

2006-04-05T14:51:00.000-07:00

So Padi has taken upon themselves to rearrange there website. i personally think its kinda crap. I find its harder to use, and im thinking anyone whose semi-intersted in scuba would be like fuck this shit im going to golf instead.

One thing the didnt do is change the proffesional interface. Its all the same and boring. i think they could jazz that up a little, but if the dont i understand cause it would be easier to make changes to and update if its kept simplistic.

Anyways check out the site, see what you think.

I want them to friggen update the ads already, i know they just did, but im getting sick of seeing the creepy lady with the yellow mask staring at me from the Master scuba diver sign.

life is contrast and parallels

2006-04-03T17:38:00.000-07:00

Life is frought with contrast and parallels. To hate ones environment yet love ones duties for example. Or like this morning, between two terrible dives with terrible divers on a beautiful day in a pristine setting, I swam with TWO whalesharks. I, scubasteve, have personally come within 20 feet of the largest fish on this planet. Imagine swimming beside a grey megalith of flesh bigger than a school buse. Now forget that because it honestly doesnt do the experience justice. This is beyond rare. For a member of our team who has been diving the carribbean for 10 years, today was his first experience with whalesharks. I must say again, TWO whalesharks. Never Ever Fucking Happens. Oh yea, last week the boat was 50feet from a few humpback whales and we dove with wild dolphins.
If this doesnt happen again within a month, I'm going somewhere it does. And if it doesnt happen anywhere, then I'm going to bangladesh and taking up knitting. Fuck da haters. Word.

PS. Dont ever go to club med. the employees are slave labor. Held with shackles of the mind. Except for me. I'm just stingy and couldnt resist the free plane ticket. Shit. That counts as a mind-shackle doesnt it.

theres a hidden test in pdt..at least i think.

2006-04-03T17:34:00.000-07:00

well its not a hidden test, its a non-existent test. i think. Im not to sure if i took it or not. I keep forgetting to check, aka too lazy.

supposedly to fill tanks in canada you need to take a transport canada dangerous goods test. to fill any tanks, not just nitrox.also to travel with any tank more then 5 and/or commercially you need to take the test.

ive never heard of this test before starting the new job. so im pretty sure PDT never did it. which is lame since its a program offered in canada, you would think all the canadian standards would be met....you would think.

then again everyone in my class went south to work. so i guess its cheaper not to do the test knowing vern, thats exactly what he was thinking. So any new reqruits for PDT 2006 and on, make sure you do the test even if you dont plan on working in canada. its cheap and makes sense.

the awnsers to all your worries....if your fat

2006-04-02T22:15:00.000-07:00

ive really got to find something else to post about. the fat topic is as dry as ever. BLAND. Anyways during the sale on saturday we sold a BC to a man that takes a 4XL drysuit.(also know as XXXXL). It was a Seaquest Raider.

Im mentioning this because it is the ULTIMATE BC for fatties. We fit the 4XL guy with a medium Raider. A MEDIUM. he hasnt fit a medium anything since he was 8. It is the most versatile, adjustable bc i have ever seen. Everything is adjustable. EVERYTHING. wieght pckets, cumberbund, clips, straps, tank mount....Plus another big thing, the integrated pockets are HUGEEEE! You can throw 20 lbs in each pocket. Then theres the litle wieght pockets on the back as well. So you can easily get 46ish lbs in just the bc alone!!!

So mr.fatty doesnt have to wear a huge ass wieght belt.

The BC runs at about 1200 retail, which is the only drawback, but its totaly worth it for what you get. Moral of the story whales can dive too!

did anybody see lost the other night

2006-04-02T21:39:00.000-07:00

(thems my hott slippers)

i did. i was like...
"holyeffshitfuckcuntthatscrazywhatsgonnahappennexttellme
nowcauseiwanttoknowandthishowtakesforevertogetonwithitbuti
stillloveitsoimgoingtobuytheseasonspacesaregay".

wow "days off" rule. i ordered 2 pizzas, ate some candy and watched Braveheart. Then i fell asleep during braveheart, NAP! now i need to finish braveheart...but after family guy. POW RIGHT IN THE KISSER!

drysuit master!

2006-04-02T16:12:00.000-07:00

today was my 'day off'. now when i say 'day off' i actually mean i was teaching and not working in the shop so according to the shop its a day off even though im teaching for the shop. kinda lame. but meh, i like diving so i can tolerate that for now. LOL

All i want to teach are specialties. There so effin easy. student comes in, we go over the knowledge review, sometimes test the student(all depends on the speacialty). Then we go diving, and a some of the specialties have only 2 dives required!! So that means potentially you can do a specialty in one day.

i love it.

im up to 6 certs now. rofl. im so proud of that pathetic number. thats 24% of the MSDT requirements. im winnnning.

today at whytecliff after my safety stop and as i reached the surface a seal was there to greet me. He was just hanging out, shooting the breeze. Probably wondering what the eff i was doing. It was pretty cool. he sat in front of me and the students for like 10 mintues before deciding we were incredibly boring and swimming off into the abyss.

(you know hes cute!)

The sale...LOL

2006-04-01T19:11:00.000-08:00

so my glorius shop decided three days ago that it would have an april fools sale...

good idea. not a lot of time. Avertising was almost non-existant. Basically the news was spread by word of mouth. We sold $17,000 in stuff. But still it was dead for like half a day.

My super duper sale sign which i made by hand and crafted with love improved turn out results by more then 100%. I SWEAR! Just goes to show how valuble i am. Im like gold, or platinum....no wait GASOLINE....cause it just went up to $1.11 a freaking liter.

we bought 6 four liters of 2% milk today so we could make latte's all day for free for the customers that never came. SO.....we have 6 four liters of 2% milk in the fridge, im gonna have to drink a lot of coffee so that doesnt go bad. i dont drink coffee. : (. i was thinking that i would put up a sign at starbucks across the parking lot that there is free coffee of equal or greater taste for FREE. Starbucks would go out of business, for sure. MUAHAAAaa

i was going to say something else, but meh TVs calling and so are the chips. peace nagga!

So you can see....

2006-03-30T15:39:00.000-08:00

As this blog unfolds, I hate fatties.

I had another occurance with the wieght challenged today. Someone came in wanting to rent a suit. He said he was a XXL, i was like sure not a problem. Go back grab the suit and get him to try it on. SKIN TIGHT!.

So he asks for the next size up. We dont carry the next size up. Anyone who cant fit into the fucking XXL drysuit is ehem....overwieght. OR, what i would designate as

SIZE WHALE!

muahah.

Death to Fatties!

club med.....ROFLSAUSAGE

2006-03-30T12:37:00.000-08:00

so, club med, yea, not all that great. says:
@fat people snorkeling
so, club med, yea, not all that great. says:
*lawlz
so, club med, yea, not all that great. says:
scuba diver
so, club med, yea, not all that great. says:
fucking nobody wants to do ow
.matt. can i haveeeeeeeeeeee you? says:
AHAHAA
.matt. can i haveeeeeeeeeeee you? says:
scuba diver doesnt count
so, club med, yea, not all that great. says:
i keep getting shafted for the reffal
so, club med, yea, not all that great. says:
fferals*
so, club med, yea, not all that great. says:
refferals* asdhfbgsdhvbasdhfvb fuck
.matt. can i haveeeeeeeeeeee you? says:
you should be like " FUCK SPEND ONE MORE DAY AND BE ABLE TO MOTHER FUCKING DIVE BY YOUR MOTHER FUCKING SELF!"
so, club med, yea, not all that great. says:
noone wants to spend the time in class.its like 2650$ perperson for a week here
so, club med, yea, not all that great. says:
one nice thing is the distinctlack of fat americans
so, club med, yea, not all that great. says:
lol@cayman
so, club med, yea, not all that great. says:
however, there is a distinctly large group of francophonesnobass bizitchs.
so, club med, yea, not all that great. says:
but yea, the blog post, classic, as usual
.matt. can i haveeeeeeeeeeee you? says:
lawlzface at club med!

poor steve....all alone in club med with GILF's hitting on him. Tap that shit for me steve. Tap it good.......I just puked, couldnt even say that seriously. Oh fuck sick. LAWLZOR

so, club med, yea, not all that great. says:
...are you required to smile meaninglessly?
so, club med, yea, not all that great. says:
while'working'?
.matt. can i haveeeeeeeeeeee you? says:
no....HAAH i talked to your rents the other day when i was in kelowna
.matt. can i haveeeeeeeeeeee you? says:
they gave me the low down
.matt. can i haveeeeeeeeeeee you? says:
club fuckhead says your not happy enough
.matt. can i haveeeeeeeeeeee you? says:
or enthusastic or soemthing
.matt. can i haveeeeeeeeeeee you? says:
i smile all the time....not meaningles
so, club med, yea, not all that great. says:
ohh if onyl i could demo the accent
so, club med, yea, not all that great. says:
not enough ener-jy
.matt. can i haveeeeeeeeeeee you? says:
BAHAHA...haha,..AHA,.a.ad..a
.matt. can i haveeeeeeeeeeee you? says:
i just karate kicked the air randomly
so, club med, yea, not all that great. says:
dont forget to chop
.matt. can i haveeeeeeeeeeee you? says:
you should just do that at club med
.matt. can i haveeeeeeeeeeee you? says:
walk around karate choppping
.matt. can i haveeeeeeeeeeee you? says:
then see if they say you dont have enough energy
so, club med, yea, not all that great. says:
the other day they tred to say i was weariong my hat inappropriatly
.matt. can i haveeeeeeeeeeee you? says:
OMFG....
so, club med, yea, not all that great. says:
i just stared, walked on
so, club med, yea, not all that great. says:
they do it again, i say i'll go pack"
.matt. can i haveeeeeeeeeeee you? says:
was it backwards or soemthing
so, club med, yea, not all that great. says:
yea
so, club med, yea, not all that great. says:
....and the guy telling me, had one on backward

The snorkeler...

2006-03-29T12:18:00.000-08:00

Everyone who is a diver looks at snorkelers like they're scum. Mostly cause they are. Snorkeling is for pussies. Unless you have intentions of freediving (or are hott like in the pic above, and not like the fag wearing the vest) you should not be allowed to snorkel, cause hey hott chicks can do anything, and if they do it naked thats even better!!!

Sure you get the lecture from Course Directors and other Instructors that snorkelers are a vital part to the dive industry. Meh! If i could spear them with my gun i would.

Its not that i hate ALL snorkelers, just the ones that are rich and spend stupid money on the crappiest gear for there whole fat family, and dont know any techniques at all. We sell so many of these traveling snorkel packs its ridiculous. Almost every day we sell at least one.

I can just imagine them using this gear, splashing around stupidly, kicking as hard as possible and going backwards. Choking every 3 minutes cause they tried to breath water. Meanwhile making so much racket any animal in a 50 foot radius swims away. Then they get all mad and figure snorkeling sucks, cause they suck and never do it again and of course never even consider diving.

Basically what im saying is, if your going to be gay and snorkel, dont be more gay by buying shat gear!

Worst invention ever........SNORKELING VESTS! Oh man i can just remeber the countless fat fuckers whereing these tiny bright vibrant yellow vest that are supposed to save someone who wieghs 500 lbs. NO WAY NOT HAPPENING! Fat people float! SO in the end the only thing there doing is suffocating themselves. Whenver they turn over to look at nothing (cause every things swam away, cause OMG WHALE)there huge rolls of wasted skin push the tiny vest into there throat. YAAY FOR SAFETY DEVICE!

O RLY!?

YA RLY!

NO WAI!

FREEEE COOFFEEE

2006-03-29T11:23:00.000-08:00

OH BUDDY OH BUDDY OH BUDDY!
FREE COFFEE FREE COFFEE FREE COFFEE

A Starbucks rep just dropped buy to give the store some free coffee and cranberry cinnomon rolls. Which doesnt make much sense cause we have our own coffee machine that produces the same quality if not better. I think there on to our coffee sales. There scared scared scared i tell you.

This is my second cup of coffee ever. Never been a fan but hey its free, why not? I wonder how the world would run if coffee was never invented. Stores probably wouldnt open till like 11:00 cause nobody would ever get up untill 10:00.

I dont know how anyone could ever drink coffee straight black. I had to dump like 4 packets of sugar and 8 shots of vinalla for it to taste reasonable. I think im just going to stick to shotgunning red bull. Or hitting jager bombs. Those work better.

the plane of DOOOOOM!

2006-03-28T17:25:00.000-08:00

So whats with no one in the vancouver area intrested in diving the coolest wreck to artificially sink since the Saskatchewan and Cape Brenton??? I had a trip all set up through the store for basically dirt cheap. (As in the store wasnt making any money on it). 2 Boats dives and transportation to Chemainus BC. (WTF where is that you say) Air and wieght included.

FOR A $120!!!!
In the diving world thats a deal. Since there was going to be an instructor there (ME), so any crappy ass divers can feel safe, cause I THE DIVING GOD WOULD BE PRESENT! Saaaaweeeeeeeet deal. KAY!? so next time sign your asses up.

Thats right diving god!

A weekend away

2006-03-28T16:52:00.000-08:00

I finally got some time off work. 5 days approx. I work like a slave haha, not that that is a bad thing. I love it so far, im teaching all the time and racking up experience like no other.

Spent the weekend in alberta visiting friends and family and partying up a storm. Tried to visit the club in Calgary called Cowboys. Couldnt get in cause we were wearing sneakers. Were all dressed up, but because we had sneakers we couldnt get in. SO LAME. I can understand why people get shot.

Saw the Dallas Green man himself live in concert as City and Colour. SO FREAKING GOOD IT WAS CRAZY! wish i had tickets to the vancouver showing. Being sold out is poopy. After that partied with some of the finest ladies in Calgary. Jess and Jen.....SMOKING HAWT, fun and really cool too. I want to go back just to hang with them.

Came back to work today. Nearly died moving tanks. Slept wrong last night. Pulled a muscle in my back. Hurts wierd. It would be neat if it turned out to be cancer. High five for that. OH YEAH AND IM A DRYSUIT INSTRUCTOR NOW!!!! IN ALL YOUR FACES MUAAAH!

The sexy mask!

2006-03-22T13:19:00.000-08:00

Atomic has introduced a new line of sexy masks. Well i shouldnt say line. Theres only 2 of them. One frameless and one with a frame.LOL.

The Atomic Sub-Frame is the strongest mask available on the market. I cant wait to buy one of these lovely bueaties. Recently i was at Whtycliff park in Vancouver with an Open Water class, when i destroyed my mask. I was tending to some gear when a solo standing tank fell on my poor little mask and blew it to pieces. I was outraged because the mask fit great and it was the only mask i had ever owned. I was sad to part with it.

Whats great about the new Atomic is it supposedly can take a tank gang bang and keep on ticking. Also they have the ne ULTRACLEAR lenses which means they dont have the gay ass green tint that some mask lenses do. Dont believe it, hold your mask up to i nice white shit of paper...notice the difference? thats right ass!

The sub-frame is super sexy and for those blind mofos out there it can do prescription lenses toooo. My shop is pulling some in asap, and im going to be the first to buy one with my nice employee discount. OH SNAP!

Air fills for all..?

2006-03-22T11:36:00.000-08:00

Yesterday I had a customer walk in with a tank and regulator. My first impression of course is that he is a diver of some sort. He asked for a Hydro, Vip and a service on the regulators. Everything pointed towards him being a scuba diver and one that kept everything well maintained and serviced.

He came in today to pick everything up, paid for everything and was ready to go, when he asked a question. He asked "How long will i be able to dive for on this tank?". Immediatly flags go up. Like wtf is that stupid poop. YOU HAVE A GAUGE ON YOUR REG!

Turns out hes not certified. So im thinking to myself. Theres nothing I can do to stop him from diving without a certification. He just paid all this money to get everything serviced and working, I wasnt about to tell him I cant let him leave with the tank/reg. I mean without training you can get killed in 5 feet of water. He can die so easy just by holding his breath on his accent.

He told me all he wanted to do was clean his pool. (Technically you need to be an Occupational diver to do that. I myself as an Instructor cannot even do it legally.)
I talked with my manager and asked him about it. Theres no regulations, or law saying we cant fill his air if he isnt certified. PADI says you shouldn't, but PADI isnt the government.

So this brings me to the question. Do you think that there should be a law? That of course would mean any commercial businesses using compressed air in SCUBA tanks would need to get a special liscence stating there not using there tanks for diving. Another question to ask would be. Is the shop liable in any way for the uncertified user of the tank they filled?

I myself think that if you get a tank filled, and your not a business owner using the tanks for work, you should have to be absolutley certified, even if your just going in your pool.

effin customers

2006-03-21T16:45:00.000-08:00

I want to know when the effin season for scuba diving begins... Can anyone tell me that? This is ridiculous. Like 5 customers a day buying snorkles or holey souls is just not going to freaking cut it. I need some customers with fucking dollars to waste on fucking scuba gear.

i have been wanting to tell anyone that comes in to BUY SOME FUCKING GEAR OR GET OUT.

And if you come into my store. Dont fucking stink. I hate this people who come in smelling like the shit on themselves or the ones who smell like the smoked a pack of cigerettes through every orifice in there body 5 mintues before they walked in.

90% of the people that walk in are looking at these stupid plastic no slip sandles. Or buying cheap ass one time use snorkles to go on there 2 week vacation to Haiwaii or some shit. There goin to use them twice and throw them away proabbly.. pieces of shit. LEARN TO FUCKING DIVE. Snorkelings gay. Seriously. Old people do it.

Buy my fucking BCD bitch.

PDT

2006-03-21T10:57:00.000-08:00

I became an Official Scuba Instructioner through the craziest course ever invented. The best thing was i got college credit for 6 months of diving!!!

The course took us through everything there was in recreational diving. We came as open water divers and left as pros. Half a week in Vegas to check out the biggest Diving show in the world DEMA, then off to Grand Cayman BWI for full month of hurricanes, sun, and running.

We dove on average of 6 times a day. Diving between every meal. We were diving so much there was no time for breaks (but no body really wanted them anyways). 18 of us became close friends and it was definetly a huge highlight in my life as it was everyones elses. If we werent diving, sleeping, or eating we were running. Working out in hurricane weather is something i have never done before. ALthough i would do it again.

The lovely Wilma had grazed us on the south before heading ona b-line straight for Mexico. There was 30 to 100 foot waves slamming into the side of Cayman everyday and on average it was pooring straight for a week. Grand cayman was essentialy a large pool.

We were gone almost as quick as we had come. The weeks had flown by, and back home to finish up and do our final tests before preparing to take on the dive industry one by one.

I took a couple of months to get us started on job hunting, because most of us were still in party mode. Eventually everyone started to leave. First one off was Laura as she had the hook ups since her husband had a job already lined up for her on Royal Carribean Cruise lines. Next was my best pal Garett. He got on at Norwegian Cruise lines (there the only cruise lines that hire under 21). Then it was me. The only one choosing to stay in Canada to teach. After that everyone shipped out fast. Harry got on somewhere in Australia. Brett, my hero, got a month contract in Cayman Brac. Courtney, Steve got on at Club med in Turks and Caicos. Brandy finally got her forms in to join Garett on Norwegian. And my best friend with an accent, the african, Blake started PDT over again cause he was to young to graduate the first time.

So in 6 months i had made some of the best friends i couldnt imagine makign in a life time and i got a dream job so to speak. One day i wil join the rest of the team in taking off somewhere warm. BUT RIGHT NOW IM WINNING THE RACE TO MSDT!

THATS RIGHT MASTER SCUBA DIVER TRAINER BIOTCH!!!!

The DIV3M4STER's

2006-03-20T13:42:00.000-08:00

The blog begins again.

SO 2 proffesional SCUBA instructors attempting at the ever expanding blogdum. I Matt, am working in Canada in the nice warm water, uhh i mean EFFIN COLD HOLY CRAP WERE DID MY BALLS GO - water. My accomplice Steve, is working somewhere else where its warm and where they serve drinks with miniture umbrellas in them and where theres tonnes of milf's and hotties getting drunk by the pool to take advantage of, and where as an employee its alright to associate with guests in a....kindly fashion.

Everyday i work i hope that a hottie walks in the store and signs up for my open water class. And everyday it doesnt happen. April's looking good. I have a good feeling about april. Hotties wanna dive in april. /fails.

I think the diving life is just to harsh of an environment for hotties. Especially in cold waters were they are forced to cover up in 2 7mm layers of dark black unforgiving neoprene...or hop in a bulky drysuit. Thats just to stay warm!!! They still have to contend with heards of seals trying to bite you in half. Seals get clubbed for a reason

Jedi Fluff

DEMA

.Surrey will fall.

.Sechelt.

DIVEZERO

.a new place.

.good bye.

under the sea

summers gone...*tear*

more photos and junk

NEW CAMERA

/holy freaking crap.

waiting, wishing

Null Space

dive life...an update.

Jessica alba...a divers dream

NASA....wtf?

ahh the enemies.

I heart skimmin

Pavillion....a lake of dreams.

wow its been forever

i hit 66

bird flew.

trials and tribulations

Pavillion Lake

too long

Dude im getting a Dell

if i should die while diving...

geneienieniesis react

advanced

splits

rain rain rain

da benders

shop games

Strange....

I drysuited steve

bonica defunkt

K K Kelownaaaaa

Love the Sundays

do or die with Bonica

advanced

3 car pile up....LOL

DIVE ZERO IS UP

week 4.

the 'edoc'

skimmmmin

HOLEY SOLES

the adventure of OPEN WATER

The next course...

Steve is BACK

'][' ([]) ([]) [[_

fun or money?

The Padi Break down

the big 14!

Performance Freediving

divezero is BACK!

i stole it from mr.pierce

stuff i want.

McTricks

!doog ttam

DIVE INTO EARTH DAY!

a gimcrack and a half

the cut

4/20

The Gemini.

The D9/D6....a computer god?

Free Diving

Club Dives

i tackled the ocean with a fury

PADI Specialty of the month!

k so the low down

OW Divers

halcyoncyoncyon

OMG PADI!

life is contrast and parallels

theres a hidden test in pdt..at least i think.

the awnsers to all your worries....if your fat

did anybody see lost the other night

drysuit master!

The sale...LOL

summers gone...tear